Good Morning to all..

Have a great Sunday..and Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers out there..

Deb

Hey Deb and everyone,

I hope everyone is having a good day wherever they are. It’s been kind of slow on the blog this weekend so I hope everyone is doing something fun or not working too hard. I’m visiting with my parents and we went over to visit with my cousin and her husband for brunch after church this morning. Talk about good food!

It’s cold and ugly here today, but at least we don’t have tornadoes. I’ve been doing things to help my parents this weekend because they both aren’t in very good health. My family had our Mother’s Day get together yesterday with my brother and his family because of some special things going on. If anyone read my posting yesterday on the other open blog thread, you’ll know about the wonderful job my sister-in-law and I did of cleaning out my mother’s corner cabinet in the dining room! I’m trying not to be as destructive today!

I have to get going because I’m going to make some hot tea for me and my mom. I love being able to pamper my mom! My dad doesn’t want tea or else I’d make it for him, too. They’re both in failing health so I’m going to enjoy them while I have them. Hopefully they’ll both be around for their 50th wedding anniversary next year. That will be special.

Have a great rest of the weekend everyone and a great week coming up.

Margie

Good evening Margie,

Your parents are very blessed to have you..I really admire your dedication to them..

I just got in from my day of celebrations..grandson’s 12th BD…Mothers Day..and of course they snuck my BD in there too..Although we had to change the party from the park to my daughters apartment due to rain and high winds..we all had a great time..lots of food,flowers, and fun..it was a blast!!

Hello to everyone..Sunny..Dawn..hope you have had a good weekend..

Talk to you later..
Deb

Glad you had a great flight to the Carolinas. I myself just flew last week from Chicago to Vegas. Was on time getting there coming home we ran into cross winds (Took my 21 year old cousin there) Lets say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Anyway we were stuck on the tarmac at McCarren for an hour which didnt phase me but explain that to my Dad who picked me and my Cousin from O’Hare yeah had to do a little damage control there. But all in all great vacation. Now that I saw Vegas Cousin when to go see NY Cousin now?

Hi Deb,

It sounds like you had a wonderful weekend with all those great celebrations. I’m glad you had a great time! It’s great that your family is so close. Some families are so dysfunctional that it is really tragic. I am very blessed to have a close family. I get along with my immediate family and all my cousins, which is a good thing because not all my cousins get along with each other.

I’m very blessed to have my parents. They’ve taken care of me for 46 years so I’m glad I can do something to take care of them. I’ve been trying to visit them more often to help them with things. They live in a retirement community and have their own cottage, but they still have to do a lot of things on their own. They don’t have to mow the grass or shovel snow (which makes me very jealous!) but they have inside things to take care of. I’ve been helping them with some major cleaning projects lately. I told my friends in Cumberland how I’ve helped them and now they all want me to clean for them! One great thing about the place where they live is that they can move into assisted living when it gets to that point. There are apartments and a nursing home available so they have all kinds of resources for them. That helps a lot.

We’re heading to Red Lobster on Monday before I head back to Cumberland, so I’m looking forward to that. My crab legs await! It’ll be hard to go back to work on Tuesday because I’ve had so much fun this weekend. I do love my job, though, so that will make it easier.

Take care, everyone.

Margie

My mother, Helen Miller Spink, died from a heart attack during her sleep on August 1st, 1986 in San Francisco. She was 70. I have missed her every day since then, and especially on Mother’s Day.

We flew to San Francisco the day before from Chicago and rented a station wagon at the airport to go to our new apartment, a beautiful two-bedroom condo overlooking the ocean. I was to begin my new public relations job the following Monday. Our furniture was in transit from Chicago.

On our drive to our apartment from the airport, I picked up two yellow flip-flop beds at a store on Geary Street where I paid for them a week earlier.

We also had my two cats with us. They were traumatized by the flight. They were cuddled together in their carrying case. Both were 14-year-old female tabby cats.

My mother loved our new home. It was the first time she saw it. We were right across from the Pacific Ocean and about a block north of the end of Golden Gate Park (or the beginning, depending how you look at it!). We were right across the street from a large Safeway supermarket, a dry cleaners, and down the street from a couple of restaurants. There was a bus stop on the corner that served as the western terminus for several bus routes. A large senior citizens center was about a mile east on Fell Street, which runs along the north side of the park.

One of my cats, Patches, awoke me about 6:30 AM on August 1st. I sat up and looked around. My other cat, Cozy Nozy, was about 15 feet away sleeping by my mother.

I called my mother, but she didn’t answer. I got up and walked over to her. Her face looked strange because her tongue was partially extended. I shook her and shook her but she didn’t wake up. Then I began crying….

I immediately called an ambulance. And I called for a priest, although I didn’t know what parish we lived in. The information operator said we were in St. Thomas the Apostle Parish and connected me to the rectory. The priest said it sounded like my mother was dead and, if so, there would be no point in administering last rights to her. He infuriated me!

“What if she isn’t dead?” I asked. He said he wasn’t able to come to my apartment.

The ambulance only took about ten minutes to arrive. The paramedics pronounced her dead and said they would take her across town to the morgue. Because we were newcomers to San Francisco and knew no one in town, they told me an autopsy would be required.

It was 7:25 AM. My cats and I were alone in our apartment. The morning fog was thick. We lived on the second floor of a five-story condo. Our living room and one bedroom overlooked a courtyard and the blue Pacific. There was a small balcony outside the bedroom. My cats were at first hesitant to walk onto the balcony because of the sound of the waves crashing across the street. After 10 minutes or so, Patches walked slowly onto the balcony and made her way to the side closest to the ocean, then stepped back a few inches and sat down. Before long, Cozy Nozy joined her.

While they enjoyed the fresh air, I phoned my relatives in Santa Barbara — my mother’s sister and brother. They said they would catch the first plane from Santa Barbara to San Francisco, rent a car, and drive to my apartment. They arrived about 1 PM.

My new boss was very understanding and suggested I delay starting my new job for a week, adding that my salary would begin that day. I thought that was super of them. “If you need more time, or any help, just let us know,” my boss told me.

The next week went by fast. We sent my mother’s body to Santa Barbara for her funeral and burial. She had hoped to divide her time between her relatives in Santa Barbara and me.

In Chicago, I lived in an apartment in Old Town, and my mother lived in a new senior citizens building a mile south on La Salle Street. She had many friends in her former building. All of them were saddened when I phoned them with the news of her passing.

In the months that followed, I worked very hard, often 10-to-12 hours a day, six or seven days a week. I soon grew to hate my job. By November, there had been a complete turnover in the two dozen employees who worked there - except for my boss and his second in command. No one bargained for or liked working such ludicrous hours.

Finally, in early December, my boss fired me. I was glad to leave. In February, I moved down to Santa Barbara, soon found work down the coast in Westlake Village and moved to neighboring Thousand Oaks.

San Francisco began on a sad note. It was a horrible experience for me. I was glad to get the hell out of there. I went back there for a one-day conference in 1988 — and couldn’t wait to return to Thousand Oaks.

In 1990, I moved to the west side of Los Angeles. I like living in a big city much better than in the suburbs. I’ve been in the same apartment for 12-1/2 years.

Cozy Nozy died in 1987; she was 15. Patches died in 1991, a few months before her 20th birthday. I loved those cats.

In 1995, when I moved to my current apartment, my best friend asked me to take in her two-year-old tabby cat, Thumper. He is a male and looks very much like Cozy Nozy, mostly white with with a few gray spots.

During the past year, Thumper has acquired a taste for Parmesan cheese. Whenever I pour Parmesan cheese on something, he runs into the kitchen and waits for me to sprinkle a little on his canned cat food.

My mother would have loved Thumper, and he would have loved her. He is a gentle, playful cat.

Janice, thank you for allowing me to share about my mother today. I have so many wonderful memories of her. Perhaps I should have shared those instead. But her last day almost 22 years ago is still so vivid in my mind. I have missed her every day since she died….

George Spink
Los Angeles

George,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. Although it is very sad, it is very beautiful at the same time because I can tell how much you loved your mom. I’m sure that was a very emotional time for you. It sounds like you have a great friend in Thumper. (What a great name!) I hope that whatever you are doing now makes you happy. It’s a horrible thing to have a job that you hate, especially when you’re dealing with something so emotional. I can’t imagine how hard it is to lose your mom (or any other family member) that suddenly. When they are sick, you can sort of prepare for it, but a sudden death can knock you for a loop.

I’m blessed to still have both my parents, but they are both in failing health so I don’t know how much longer I will have them. I’m sure you have plenty of happy memories about your mother, so try to keep those in mind when you are depressed. I do that when I start thinking about my brother who died 21 years ago. The memories of his death are so vivid even after all these years, but I have plenty of happy memories to think about when I start feeling sad. Those are the things we need to think about.

Thank you again for sharing with us.

Take care,
Margie

Hey to everyone..I hope everyone is having good weather today..The rain finally stopped here and the wind is calmer today..and we have sunshine again..temp in the low 60’s..but suppose to be back in the upper 70’s tomorrow..

Margie..I hope you enjoy your Red Lobster treat and be careful on your trip home.

George…Your mother sounds like she was wonderful..I am so sorry you lost her. Yesterday was the first Mothers Day without mine, she passed away 3 months ago..and I miss her dearly… I cherish all my memories of her..and she will always be with me in my heart…and my lifes goal is to carry on her love to my children and grandchildren..and being the strength of our family as she was..and pay it foward to the next generation..that’s what she would have wanted..

And Thumper sounds like a treasure…and I don’t blame him for loving Parmesan cheese..it is good..he has good taste..

You have a good Day, George
Deb

Hey Deb,

I just got back to Cumberland. I wish the rain would go away! It wasn’t heavy, but it was just a constant mist/light rain. I had my windshield wipers going for most of my trip home. It was windy, but not nearly as bad as it was last night. Red Lobster was great though! Mondays around 1:00 are a great time to go there because there was hardly anyone in the place. I like that! I had a combination of snow and king crab legs and boy were they good! I brought some of the snow crabs home with me for leftovers.

I’m glad your weather is improving. I wish ours would! It is supposed to be sunny and warmer tomorrow so I’m looking forward to that. It’s getting brighter here so maybe the sun will make a brief appearance this afternoon/evening. (Wishful thinking!)

I hope you did something special on Mother’s Day yesterday. That must have been hard to deal with your first Mother’s Day without your mom. I have a number of friends who have lost their moms in recent years and they’ve mentioned that it is a difficult time for them. I love what you said about carrying on your mother’s love to your children and grandchildren. That is a wonderful legacy to leave. I don’t have any children, but I do have a beautiful niece and nephew. It’s not quite the same as having kids but I can leave my own legacy with them somehow. My little nephew is adorable. He’s 22 months old and is just a little cutie! Whenever he wanted to show me something when we were together Saturday, he held up his hand for me to take and he led me to where he wanted me to go. I just love that little guy!

I know you’ll always have the pain of losing your mom, but I know you have plenty of happy memories to hold on to and think about during those difficult times. I don’t know how long I’ll have my mom, so I’m kind of preparing myself for the inevitable. As we grow older we know that one day we’ll be without our parents, but that doesn’t make it any easier when that day arrives. I’ll be keeping you in my prayers.

Take care,
Margie